It's been a long time.. to say the least!

Hey everyone,

Sorry I've been inactive here for quite a bit,
Just with, you know; uni and life it's been quite hectic!

Uni has been going quite good tourettes aside, I have achieved 2 A's and I think I was 2 points off another A in a test I had, I might be moving into a flat soon with my friend in Bolton for the rest of the time at Uni, which is quite exciting!

My toruettes has been really bad this past couple of months and it has been ever so hard to cope with.
I had to leave uni one week early for christmas breaks because I couldn't cope where I was alone with my tourettes.

I have been researching the Deep Brain Stimulation and I was going to look into that with doctors and such, but then realized I would have to quit University to have it done, and that is just not going to happen because I know that I wouldn't redo the course.

I just hope it simmers down soon because I want to do well at uni and I want to be able to cope to a certain degree. I'm on some medication to help me sleep, and apaprently help to cool down the toruettes a bit called 'Trifluoperazine' I'm on 1mg once a night and so far it's working with the sleeping and it's made nights so much more bearable.

As before, it would take, quite liturally, three or four hours just to get to sleep, and I would have to bear witness to my tics at their worst laid down.

I'm back at uni after the christmas breaks and I'm looking foward to the future :]

Thanks for your time in reading,
Regards,
Mark

Settling into Uni couldn't be anymore awesome..

Hey guys,

Ok so I've spent two weeks in Halls of Residence now, starting 'properly' at uni from tomorrow.
But I seriously would of never expected to of had this much fun by now and met all the brilliant people I did and the great friends I've made.

It's quite a turn around from 2 weeks ago where I was very much down in the gutters.
I still hold the friends that held me close back then close to me. Because they are worth it, there's only a very few though.

The week after moving in I even went into Manchester with my new friends just to shop about and have a laugh and it was amazing. I've never had any friends who would do that with me or care for me in a group. A very nice, new amazing feeling [:

I love hanging out at there flat and chilling/talking having fun because it's such a change from my past. All this and I've not even got onto how the course ACTUALLY is haha!

Well the course is shaping up to be really great! We will be using 3dsmax which I love anyway, the unreal 2004 editor and possibly 3 editor, I have it just incase :]

The tutors are really laid back and kind and I'm really really looking foward to the rest of the year.

My tourettes is still quite bad though, and has gotten me into trouble on quite a few separate occasions infact!

Luckily I've had my friends near me so I didn't have to face those situations alone like I usually would of had to.

Thank you Rachael, Sophie, Shauni, Grant and Jen =D!

Long may these awesome times continue!

Thanks for reading, hope you comment [:
Regards,
Mark

Well I've gotten into Uni, or have I?

Hello everyone,

Well I rang up Bolton University last Tuesday explaining everything and they said with the 200 points I have I can get a place on the course but they need the verification from UCAS to confirm it.

Results were meant to come out Thursday like everyone else but nope, bot ours, not from North Lindsey. Still, on Monday, NO RESULTS ON UCAS or an email of any sort.

This has made me and several other people that I know very angry with UCAS, because the clearing system will have little to no places left by the time some of us get our results, whenever the hell that will be.

I'm sort of scared and looking foward to Uni at the same time, scared because I don't know how I'll cope with things like cooking, washing up, helping around. But excited because of all the opportunities to make new friends!

I'm home alone for the week as my parents and sister have went on holiday :]
Good times.

Thanks for reading,
If you have any bad thing to say on UCAS please post it :],
Mark

Still so much work to be done explaining Tourettes Syndrome to the public..

i
Ok SO,

I'm not exactly in the BEST of moods at the moment.
Sometimes I get really sick of these ignorant people who think it's ok to pass judgment on somebody because of their actions. And then not bother to think about or accept the reason for their actions.

Like with toruettes, we cannot help what we do. We have no control, or very little over it.

I was walking through my local village today ticing, twitching, grunting, swearing as per usual.
When some idiot tells me to 'stop swearing in public you rude cunt' Well for one, he just shouted back to me in an aggressive tone and he also swore back.

I told him, quite angrily I must admit 'I can't fucking help it' because at that moment in time I got sick of telling everybody that stops me that I can't help it, and this guys friend replies back to me with 'You can, stop been a little attention seeking idiot and stop causing trouble'

I wasn't even going to bother saying I had tourettes because they would of seen it as an excuse and they would of just repeated what they had said in a different manner.

It really is anoyying that sometimes, people with Tourettes, and people that have it bad like I do, get the dirty looks, the smart comments, the rude remarks, and even when we explain what we have and why we are acting that way. SOME still refuse to believe or accept it and either turn to mock our tics or tell us that we can control it and to not do it in public.

This can really anoyy me so much and I'm sure it anoyys fellower Touretters.

True this is only the minority that does this, but walking out in a village or big town, the numbers add up.

It's great when you bump into someone who is understanding but then when you get the ones like I just discussed. It can be increasingly stressful to deal with.

Thank you for reading this little rant/moan.
If you want to comment I would sure love to hear your opinions on the matter.

Regards,
Mark

Uni approaching, hopefully..

Hey everyone,

Ok so I received my 'Student' version of my results. I got an MMP (Merit, Merit, Pass) But I needed Merit Merit Merit to be guaranteed a place. Which is 240 points, I only have 200 points, plus the key skills test which hopefully I get some in.

I have my room in the halls of residence and my student finance ready and waiting. I'm just preying they will accept me. The areas which I excelled in were design, games design and 3d design (digital).

So hopefully they will take that into account. And I'm a bit upset I wasn't put into special consideration while marking. Because I know if I hadn't of had tourettes i would of got MMM no problem. So I will complain if I don't get my place!

Though my Tutors from college have said they haven't known anyone that hasn't got a place on the course they applied for. So fingers crossed hey guys!

Sorry this is short, but not much else to say, summer is going along at a slow pace. Pretty boring tbh!
Waiting for a chque to clear, which takes 7 weeks!!! stupid forgien cheques, oh well another 2 weeks to wait for that.
I have a good feeling about the Uni situation though :]

Thanks for reading,
Mark

Vlog of Tourettes

Hello everyone,

So I have decided, after much thought and people supporting me in saying it will be a good idea,
to make a youtube vlog on my life with tourettes syndrome

I want to help explain not just what tourettes is, but in what way it can effect us.
Not just in the bad ways, but in the good ways aswell.

For example, I've not been ill since I've had Tourettes, coincidence maybe, but something to talk about.

Also my artistic skills have been brought alive since I've had Tourettes.

I'd like to hear your opinions on this, and if you would support me doing this,
I will be doing it regardless but opinions always help =]

Regards,
Mark

End of college, beginning of the rest of my life

Hey everyone,

So I've just finished college, last week the whole of my design department made an exhibition to put on show for everyone, which would show off the best pieces of our work that we had done over the past two years. The exhibition will be up for around 3 weeks though parents and new students starting in September where invited on Thursday night and it was quite scary to be honest!

I couldn't look at my part of the exhibition because people where always around it, and watching the 3D games trailer I had made and also playing my flash game, which I guess isn't a bad thing! But I just couldn't look haha!

Well I've got 3 months until I start University so a lot of free time that's for sure! I got a new guitar early this month, so that makes two I have now! It's called a Schecter Damien B-2, its really good.

Of course, I'm still song writting and I will post one of them at the bottom of this blog, but theres something I would like to discuss.

I was walking down my local towns street when I was grunting and ticing, the usual (It's been pretty bad as of late with all the stress of handing in everything for college)
I heard a few chavy lads walk by mimicing me, I'm not too bothered I don't wanna cause a fight, but then one of the decided to throw a glass bottle at me, it missed thanfully and I was just about ready to turn around and unleash hell on him, but I thought to myself 'is he really worth it?' and walked away.

I just want to know wyour opinions, do you think that's not standing up for myself or do you think it's doing the right thing and not causing a scene?

Well I'd like to know your opinions!
As promised heres another song I wrote:

You and me,
We could of seen it all.
I could picture us standing
Standing so high and so tall.

And everything,
Could of went away,
If i had of been there for you.
And everyone,
They wouldn't have been this way.
If I had of been there for you

Don't you think I'm not dying inside,
My lifes built of paper planes
Your pulling the wings off,
They can no longer glide.

Can't you breathe once without hurting,
The ones that you love,
And everyone your hurting,
Your beginning to shove, away.

If my path was that simple,
You've torn it in two,
And I can't decide which direction,
And which one would suit you.

Don't you think I'm not dying inside,
My lifes built of paper planes
Your pulling the wings off,
They can no longer glide.

Please is the word, its so simple
The word that I seem to hear all the time.

Please is the word, your not hearing
The word that I no longer,
Feel I can hide.

And I beg you to stay,
Or please just wish me away,
So no more I feel what I feel inside

Make the pain stop, before I pass out,
Waking up without you by my side.
If I'm dreaming than stop me,
Theres not a lot more places that I can hide.

Don't you think I'm not dying inside,
My lifes built of paper planes
Your pulling the wings off,
They can no longer glide.

My papers so heavy,
The angles acute,
I can't see no way
That I won't fall, is this the end?

Oh I wish you would stay,
But I can't bare a lie,
The truths what I'm hearing.
Then I guess its goodbye..

Thanks for reading, hope to hear what you think,
Regards,
Mark