Positive Changes but nasty side effects

Hello everyone,

So I've not been very active this past few weeks, well since i last posted in the middle of January!
But some things have changed, well i went to a gig in Leeds near the end of January to watch Escape the Fate at the Cockpit, it was great! Very fun entertaining night to say the least lol!!

And I'm also in a band, It's only just got itself together and we are still in need of a talented drummer, we only have rough copies of two of our own songs and they are exactly that, rough!! But like with any new band, the more you jam with each other the better you work together and the better you end up sounding!

But I'm also having a hard time in my head, my ocd is really bad this month, the only thing that's on my mind at the moment is leaving home, as much as it makes me look a selfish twat for saying it, i can't stand it here, i can't point my finger on exactly what it is, but it's getting to me, i want to get away from all the bad memories and bad past and start fresh, clean slate, meet new people, new adventures, new problems. But not here, not here.

I've also had the same thing happen that always happens with me, i make a friend, or so i think i have. And the next week they don't speak to me again, you could say that I am getting used to this by now, but it still hurts just as much as ever. My confidence is low because of that, which makes me act weird around my friends, they understand(I hope) but yeah.

Tough times are ahead, but hey, who hasn't got them?
But i guess the band thing is a great positive eh.

I hope if any of my friends read this, that they understand. And also i hope to see my friends more often, it's so annoying not been able to see your friends much, specially the ones you really care about.

Thank you for taking your time in reading this,
Regards,
Mark

So called friends

Hello everyone,

Now over this past year, mainly past 6 months, i have had so many friends leave my side because of my tourettes, for reasons ranging from they can't handle it any more to 'i feel embarrassed been with you' now obviously this is going to hurt me a lot. And sometimes i just cannot understand why people do this type of thing.

I am so lucky i have a few true friends that stick by me through everything, i guess you can only find good in some people.

Some of those so called friends even deiced to text message me saying how great there life was without me in it. And i think to myself; 'why bother wasting your time texting me then?' I just don't get some people. I guess that's life though.

What do you all think?
Is this type of thing unnecessary and rude?

Regards,
Mark

Life in College...

Hello everybody,

Now i know i haven't been online for quite some time now, but I'm back and intend to keep it that way!
I've been through my first year of college in the time it's taken me to write this third blog.

So much to say, so much to write but it will all be worth it!
As you've gathered by now i have full blown Tourettes Syndrome.

I joined North Lindsey College (located in Scunthorpe) to take a National Diploma in Multimedia(now renamed Interactive Media). This course focuses on design work, for example, image manipulation in Adobe Photoshop to creating interactive websites in Macromedia Flash.

The first day of College was quite a nervous one for myself, as i had no idea of what the students in my course would think of me as, with my ticing and vocal grunting/swearing. But i am very relieved to say that they are a great bunch of people! They took me in, didn't care about my tourettes, it didn't bother them, they didn't make fun out of it but had fun with me.

Such a different experience from school life. The course tutors were very welcoming of me, because i can't draw for the amount of ticking i do, i am allowed to do digital drawings on a computer instead. Which saves a lot of stress i can tell you!

I have made so many friends in College, i have made two best friends who i hold very close to me, both female to my amazement as before college, i hadn't really talked to girls a whole lot.

But i can always rely on these two amazing woman.
When I'm down and fed up, they are there to comfort and cheer me up, which makes my life a whole lot easier!

I have loved the subjects we have covered in the course i am taking!
From creating stop motion films to making an interactive Flash website.
I have learnt so much but still have so much to learn!

I am quite pleased to say, in the second and final year of my course! Which if completed, will give me an equivalent of 3 A levels and more than enough UCAS points to go to the University of which i desire.

There has been some hard times in the first year of college don't be fooled.
Near the end of the first year i was put back on medication to try and calm my tourettes down but got bad side-effects from the medication, drowsinesses, feeling like a zombie, major league depression and much more. So after 2 weeks on the stuff i was taken off and i vow not to go on any more as it does me more harm than good.

One day walking to the Link (a place our course goes to do certain lessons) which is 20 minutes walk away from the actual college itself. I was attacked by a group of chavs. I was walking on my own and my tourettes let out some profown swearing words to the 4 man strong group. They came up to me and pulled out a knife and lunged at me.
I did manage to avoid it ad ran for my life, i have never ran so fast before, luckily they didn't seem to be that fit so they gave up chase after a minute or so.

But i had never been so scared in my life, it was quite horrible to say the least!

But whenever my course friends were with me and someone shouted abuse at me, my god they didn't half stick up for me! I feel so safe around them.

Well, it's going good in the second year so far. Only a week in but seems to be going good..
I will be sure to write more posts for you to read into.

Regards,
Mark