Thinking of the future, hating the present

Hello everyone,

Ok, so rough couple of weeks, falling out with a few friends over nothing, some been really immature about everything, and making whatever is wrong to be my fault. But people do that, so yeah i just ignore it.

The future, what a vivid thought, you could spend all day thinking of what you can do with your life, or what you could do if you managed to do something in the present. See; even that small sentence is confusing, but its the thought of the possibility that you won't be able to do what you hope to do that is the scary thing.

With my head the way it is, certain people unable to talk much, which is cool i know I'll catch up with em. But my head builds up much like power, and too much power can overload the system. That's whats starting to happen at the minute, its also bringing back my obsessive thinking, which is not good at all. Too hard to explain but basically i can't block out anything that comes into my head.

I'm also pretty fed up with the surroundings i have, where i live there are no friends nearby, and that is awful. I want to be around my friends, be able to go out after college or at weekends and hang around with them. But thats something for the future, hopefully college will bring a closer group of friends and better surroundings!

Hehe i hope I am able to play my guitar pretty loud in Uni, I'll be gutted otherwise!!

Thanks for reading,
Regards,
Mark